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Jester’s Trek: Pottermore
As of this writing, ten of the current fourteen CSM6 members are running for reelection. As a handy guide, if each of these ten were characters in the Harry Potter universe, here’s who they would be…
(And please keep in mind that I like and respect a lot of these people. This is all in good fun. 
)
Draco Llasa: Professor Filius Flitwick. Wait. He was a professor? What did he look like? Short, goblin-looking dude? Huh. I don’t remember him. Was he in the movies? Really? Did he do anything important? Anything I would have heard of? No?
Darius III: Peeves the Poltergeist. Could be argued that he isn’t even there at all. You don’t see him for ages. Then, when he does show up, he throws buckets of dog shit all over everything and everyone, cackles insanely, sings a poetic song to commemorate the occasion that he spent the last two weeks writing, then leaves (or is chased off).
UAxDEATH: Professor Remus Lupin. Seems like a nice enough guy. Shabby, but presentable. Gets the girl, and you’re not even particularly jealous. Smart guy, and knows his shit. He usually keeps to himself, with just a few close friends around. Only a few people really understand him. He’s part of your team, but watch out: occasionally, he turns into an inhuman monster that can no longer tell friend from foe, and terrorizes the countryside.
Two Step: Neville Longbottom. He’s the guy that’s on the varsity squad, only you can never quite see why. Then you realize that it’s because he works harder than just about everyone else. Sincerely knows his shit in a limited area, and applies his work ethic to try to learn the rest. Gets back up no matter how many times he’s knocked down. You suspect that he’ll eventually be the one of the most important people around, but the rest of the group still won’t quite get him. Forever underestimated.
Meissa Anunthiel: Firenze the Centaur. Seems to have been around longer than anybody. Could be the smartest guy around, but generally keeps his mouth shut. Stays far away from everyone else: he’s usually very cool and distant. Really has only one area of expertise, but sticks to it, so that’s OK. When he does open his mouth, everyone listens, but nobody is really sure they understood what he said. Occasionally, he gets really angry and points out how stupid everyone else really is.
Elise Randolph: Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge. Runs one of the most important organizations in the world, but is kind of a dick. Everyone says in public that they like him, but nobody really does except some toadies. Spends a lot of his time doing exactly the opposite of what everyone else wants. But then he shows up at the party with everyone else and seems to want everyone to like him despite the fact that his actions and his words don’t match. Sincerely seems to think that everyone wants to be just like him.
Prometheus Exenthal: Professor Alastor “Mad Eye” Moody. Spent the entire term locked up in his own trunk. Despite that, he gets added to the varsity squad. Is pretty sure he knows way more than everyone else, and is really bitter and angry most of the time. Has one trick that is really impressive and rather scary at the same time. Plays by his own rules, and doesn’t care if others don’t like that. He definitely knows his shit, but can’t convey it without pissing everyone else off. Even people that like him have a hard time saying anything nice about him.
Seleene: Professor Horace Slughorn. Used to be really important back in the day and never hesitates to let you know that. He knows everyone there is to know, and has been around for the most important events in the world. Has the souveneirs to prove it. Still, you’ll always get the impression that while he was involved in these events and with these people, he was never really a driving force, or if he was, it was so long ago that it doesn’t really impact the present. He’s desperate to be in the club now, but doesn’t… quite… want the work or the danger that goes with that. He does want the comfort and prestige that goes with it, though!
Trebor Daehdoow: Professor Minerva McGonagall. Not flashy or brilliant in the traditional sense, but has a wide array of skills. Is the hard worker in the background that makes everything operate smoothly. Consigned to forever play second fiddle to much flashier leaders. Is respected, but is hard to like. Rigorous disciplinarian with a stern front: you never quite know what this person thinks of you. Can get along with just about everyone if needed, but very occasionally is a stubborn obstacle that everyone else has to overcome.
And, of course…
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| Twins separated at birth? |
The Mittani: Professor Gilderoy Lockhart. Completely in love with his own voice, face, and image. Loves to see pictures of himself and positive references to himself. Has only one true area of expertise, but that one area of expertise is making other people believe what he wants them to believe. Wrote a lot of stuff about things that he did, but you get the impression that he mostly takes credit for the work of others. Has a train of semi-mindless followers that idolize him, but most people that don’t idolize him despise him instead. He is almost ridiculously arrogant, and completely positive that everyone wants to be just like him.
Yeah, that last one was pretty easy. And again, please keep in mind that these comparisons are just for fun. I respect the work a lot of these people have done. Yes, even Gildero– er, Mittens.
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